HotShot Blog

You are all in for a treat today! You are about to become privy to the naughtiest jokes I ever heard . . . in elementary school.

1. You have to answer each of the following questions 'pea soup'

   • What did you have for breakfast?
   • What did you have for lunch?
   • What did you have for dinner?
   • What did you do all night?

   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was HILARIOUS. See, pea soup sounds like pee soup and that's potty talk! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2. Are you PT?

   The 'cool' kids asked me this in kindergarten. PT sounded bad, so I said 'no'. Then they all laughted at me because apparantly PT meant potty-trained. Oops. Then, another day, some other 'cool' kids asked me if I was PT. This time I was smarter and said 'yes'. They all laughed at me again, because now PT meant 'pregnant teacher'. In retrospect, I'm not sure what was so insulting about being called a pregnant teacher, but it managed to make me cry anyway.

3. Once there was this little girl and she was in her room and her mom called her to dinner. The girl said, 'just a sec!' The mom waited a couple minutes and then called her again, and again she said 'just a sec!'. The mom was now getting inpatient, because dinner was getting cold so when she called her daughter the third time and the daughter said 'Just a sec!' the mother said 'NO MORE SECS!!!!'

   This one was funny because secs sounded like SEX, which was a 'dirty dirty word' in elementary school. Nobody said sex unless they were whispering and giggling. We even giggled when we saw the word 'sex' in reference to gender. That's how funny 'sex' is.

4. There once was this lady who bought a mansion. She knew that lots of fancy houses had fancy names (like Worthington Manor etc.) and she wanted her house to have a fancy name too. But she didn't know what to name it! She eventually decided to name the house after her favorite soap opera star, Harry But. Eventually, she had a baby. Of course she couldn't figure out what to name the baby, so she went to the store and saw a crack on the wall, and decided to name the baby crack. One day, Crack crawled out of his playpen, and his mother didn't know where he went. Terrified, she ran to the police station screaming "Officer you HAVE to help me! I've searched my Harry But and I couldn't find my Crack!"

   Get it? Get it? OK, you just have to suspend disbelief and accept the fact that this lady was too stupid to name her own kid, that she really thought the police would know that her mansion was named Harry But, and that..oh forget it. It was really hilarious in 4th grade.

5. This old lady was taking a shower when she glanced out the bathroom window to see her pet poodle, Frisho, running down the street. Terrified she jumped out of the shower and ran out of the house, dripping wet and naked shouting 'Frisho! Frisho! Has anybody seen my Frisho??'

   Get it? Frisho sounds like 'free show'. And she was NAKED. HAHAHAHAHA

6. The Pen Fifteen Club

   Once, the 'cool' kids asked me if I wanted to be in the Pen Fifteen club. I was a dork with no friends, and I felt really special because I thought I was finally going to join a club! I said, "Really? Sure, I'd love to!" So the cool girl smiled and proceeded to write PEN15 on my hand in big letters. In permanent marker. This was in middle school. We never did end up having a club meeting either :(
   

Anybody else got some good dirty jokes from their elementary school days? Post 'em in the comments sex-ion- HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!11!!1