HotShot Blog

On Friday I made a trip to 23rd St and 5th Ave for a occupational drug screen. After I got out, I walked over to Madison Square Park, which is a lesser known but wonderful small park. The park is filled with plants and flowers, a few interesting sculptures, and some nice trees. I sat down on a bench and felt for the first time in New York City that I was breathing in oxygen. It was very relaxing and soothing.

Except for one part: the dog run. It seems about every park in New York has a space where dogs can be unleashed and run amok. I understand the need of dogs and dog owners to have such a space. But I really can't stand them. I go to a park to relax, enjoy the scenery, and pretend I'm not in the city. This scene is more than negated by the stench of the dog run, which permeates an area far larger than the dog enclosure itself. Not only is the smell unpleasant, it reminds me of the fact that I am in a city where you need such a place and of the dogshit that lines the streets in many parts of the city. It's disgusting and repulsive, not what I would like when I go to a park.

For those of you not in the know, on Tuesday of last week there were a string of elections throughout the country. Many states such as Montana and Virginia held primary elections for statewide races. California held a special election to replace disgraced Republican Congressman Duke Cunningham.

Special elections like this one are used by both political parties to test themes and strategies ahead of the fall elections. It is the best indicator of what will happen in November. Republicans spent $10 million to defend a seat in this heavily Republican area. Democrats ran a strong challenge.

So what happened? Democrat Busby lost 49.5-45.1, an 18% swing from the 2004 total of 58.5-36.5. Many eager prognosticators are pointing out that an 18% swing nationwide would result in Democrats winning 40-50 seats in the House in November.

But the real story is not a 18% swing, but the extremely low turnout. Turnout was less than half the turnout in 2004. Republicans are fed up and many of them stayed home. This would have been great for Democrats if they were able to turn out their base. Busby ran the same John Kerry-style campaign orchestrated by high level Democratic consultants. She avoided taking any important position or saying anything that might offend someone. She ran on corruption and competence and said as little as possible about the number one issue of the day: Iraq.

It is no surprise that Democrats did not care and stayed home on election day as well. Voters do not respond to uninspiring me-too followers. Both parties are searching for real leaders and not the caricatures that we have as Congresspeople today.

And that is why the Democrats will lose this fall. Despite all the advantages of the Republicans screwing up just about everything, I do not predict that we will win more than a few seats, probably short of a majority. It will be the biggest wasted opportunity ever.

In honor of our diligent bloggers imminent 24th birthday, I decided to devote a blog entry to his fascinating life story.

Shortly before his birth, Abhishek's parents moved from India to America. However, Mrs. Mistry returned to India to have Abhi. Why? Well, the theory is that the relative that was sponsering the Mistries during their immigration was a closeted conservative, and via some special skill (some would call it political gaydar) could tell that the ripening fetus would turn out to be a raging liberal. So he requested that Mrs. Mistry temporarilly return to India to have her baby, thus eliminating the frightening possibility of a future President Mistry.

It was for this reason that on June 18th, 1982, in the city of Navsari, Gujarat, Abhishek Mistry entered this world. Navsari is apparantly a decent sized city by indian standards, but it seems like a pretty small town from the photos I've seen. Anyway, Navsari got its name from the fact that the women there wear a special type of sari, called a Nav-Sari. The men wear Nav-Dhotis.

Once baby Abhishek recovered from the gastrointestinal diseases that seem to accompany a visit to India, Mrs. Mistry decided that it would now be possible to take a long plane ride to America without having to change her baby's Nav-Diaper every 2 minutes.

This is how Abhishek came to America. I don't know much about Abhishek's early childhood. I do know that he lived in a little dinky apartment in Long Island, and he had a toy phone that he liked to play with. I also know that he was very developmentally advanced (I guess those Indian gastroenteritises do some good after all) and he was reading and doing long division way before he was potty trained.

Eventually Mr. Mistry got a job at IBM and the whole family relocated to Kingston, New York. Kingston is in the part of the country where people consider wagon wheels to be an attractive and upscale ornament for their front yards. It is a rural city full of white people and the occasional black person. When Abhishek started school in Kingston, he was the only brown person there. He said that because he was brown, nobody wanted to be his friend. Luckily, the coolest kid in his class did want to be his friend, so he was happy. Despite being friends with the coolest kid in his class, Abhishek didn't become cool until he was a senior in high school. Even then, it was debatable. But Abhishek suffered from an affliction that even his Xtremely cool friend Dave couldn't have saved him from - enormous dorky glasses.

Abhishek's glasses were so big and powerful that they enabled him to read even the smallest of details on the blackboard, quickly propelling him to the top of the class. Throughout his childhood, Abhishek worked diligently to get ever-increasing prescriptions, spending tireless hours in front of the family television thoroughly engrossed in his Nintendo Entertainment System. He eventually aquired a few more friends to play Nintendo with, and there in the glow of Mario and Zelda, he grew into a man. Well, actually, he just grew into a fatter kid, but you get the picture.

Pets are considered dirty in India, and Abhishek's parents would not let him get a dog, a cat, or even an iguana. But, when he was seven, they gave him something even better - a brother! Now Kingston had two brown kids, and Abhishek quickly lost his novelty status.

Abhishek attended Saugerties High School, home of the Sawyers. But instead of their mascot being that hot shirtless guy from Lost, it's actually just a cross between a redneck and Yosemite Sam. In high school, Abhishek really stood out. He did cross country, ski club, Magic: the Gathering Club, marching band, Model Congress, and was captain of the .. MATH TEAM!!! And when he finally traded in those enormous glasses for contact lenses, the girls couldn't help but notice . . . that his eyeballs popped out of his head, Ricky Ricardo style, whenever a hot blonde walked by. Despite this rather unsettling phenomenon, Abhishek managed to get a nice hot blonde to go to his senior prom with him, and even date him for a little while. Turns out, she thought his trumpet skills were pretty sexy. After graduating as Valedictorian, Abhishek went on to Cornell University where he would discover, 'wow, Ithaca really IS gorges'.

At Cornell, Abhishek studied diligently, building a resume that would make mere mortals feel incredibly dumb and lazy. In fact, looking at his resume makes me feel dumb and lazy. So you'll have to ask him yourself about all the wonderful research and leadership roles he took on at Cornell. But it sure is impressive.

Not content to graduate Cum Laude like most of the overacheiving students, Abhishek graduated Magna Cum Laude with degrees in Economics and Computer Science. He also was inducted into some genius frat called Phi Beta Kappa. I accompanied him to his induction ceremony, which consisted of a bunch of people telling them how much smarter and better they are than anybody else. Needless to say, all the friends and family members there who didn't qualify for PBK (myself included) were firmly put in our place.

Determined to fulfill his family's dreams, after graduating from Cornell, Abhishek decided to become Dr. Mistry. Unfortunately, a finance PhD was not the kind of doctor his parents had in mind. But I can tell you, that monetarily speaking, I think he's better off getting the PhD :p

Choosing the perpetual student route is tough, especially when you see your friends out having real lives and careers. Abhishek's group of friends from home have been very sucessful - one's a hip-hop DJ, another is a software engineer with a house and a bus, another leads a platoon in Iraq, one is married with two kids, the list goes on and on. But Abhi isn't doing so bad himself --

Three years into his finance PhD program, Abhishek has blossomed into a successful young man who looks really good in a three button suit (a vital skill in the business world). In this next year, he will have the opportunity to live out two of his greatest fantasies (no, NOT wrestling with a thong bikini-clad Heather Graham and Helena Bonham Carter in a vat of Astroglide!!) -- working at a big banking firm, and having people finally call him 'professor' without any sarcasm.

So please join me in wishing this amazing young man a very happy birthday. In just 24 years, he has gone from a house on a dirt road in India to being a 'professor' in International Finance in Manhattan...and there's a very good chance that we'll be calling him Dr. Mistry before he turns 25!

Congratulations on all your successes, Abhi and have a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!