HotShot Blog

Gratuities are meant to solve an economic problem. When a person is paid a flat wage for his work, he has no incentive to work to his full capacity. As Peter says in Office Space, the threat of getting canned "will make you work just hard enough not to get fired." Gratuities in service jobs ensure that workers will provide excellent services in order to receive a generous gratuity. The same can be said of bonuses, stock options, piece work, and various other forms of compensation.

When are gratuities a lousy form of compensation? When the quality of the work is largely not affected by the worker's effort. Case in point: pizza delivery. No matter how much effort the delivery person puts into getting the pizza on time, there is no effort that can overcome traffic, speed limits, stop signs, weather, or the main reason pizzas are late, a slow kitchen.

Much more in the extended entry...

This post is about something sorely lacking in our society, leadership. People like me often criticize Bush as being a terrible leader, and at no point was that clearer than during the week following the hurricane. While thousands died, starved, or were raped and murdered, the president dressed up like a country singer and posed with a guitar in a cheap photo-op. Even when he finally went to New Orleans on Friday, he avoided the hardest hit areas, viewing from a distance in a helicopter.

In the previous two decades we may have accepted poor leadership. There were no major wars, terrorists were only beginning to make themselves known, and most people were happily employed and enjoying a boom.

But in these trying times, we need solid leadership. Not just from our president, but from ordinary Americans. We can no longer afford to be a nation of couch potatoes, indifferent and resigned to whatever fate bestows upon them. Our schools are crumbling, poverty is rising, the nation remains unprepared for any major terrorist attack, and globalization has destroyed the fundamental building blocks of our society, including our families.

It will take much more than one president to restore this great nation to grandeur. It will take a concerted effort by each of us. Don't think you can make a difference? You are wrong.

I recently got scammed by an apartment listing service called Coastal Apartments, Inc. They reeled me in with a semi-fradulent posting on craigslist.com then promised me I would find a great 1 bedroom apartment within my budget. After I paid the $244 fee, I was completely ignored. My phone calls were not returned. The listings I received were for rented apartments and unavailable short-term corporate leases. After a week of work, I looked at only one apartment. I decided to call it quits.

Except that they refused to give me my money back. I called, wrote, and stated my case that they had misled me. All I received was an insulting offer of $30. I could have walked away with this measly amount. Instead, I took action. I made flyers stating my story and stood outside the company's doors waiting to pass them out to customers. I was met with initial hostility, threats of police action and lawsuits. But in the end, I was able to get over 75% of my money back thanks to my actions. Much better than the arrogant $30 they had offered me.

Real leadership requires that we stand up for our values in all aspects of life. It requires that we not be satisfied with what we're given in every situation, but that we work harder to make things better. A Democratic president, congress, supreme court, state legislatures, governor, etc will certainly help set this country on the right path. But to make substantial progress, we will need much more. We need a nation of leaders.

The Associated Press ran an article yesterday on corporate bonds. One of the things I find incredibly silly about financial market coverge is the single-minded focus on U.S. equities. The American stock market is one of largest in the world. But the bond market, including Treasuries and corporate bonds, is significantly larger and in many ways far more important for the U.S. economy.

Bonds are debt. American governments and corporations issue bonds, which investors buy. The bond then entitles the investor to a fixed interest payment each year for the life of a bond and the original amount given back at maturity. Bonds are issued because for example, when IBM needs to borrow $20 million to build a new plant, no bank is large enough to lend them that amount of money. Of course, the price of a bond, or how much you lend to the company/government, depends on the risk that you won't get your money back. When buying bonds from a company that is likely to go bankrupt, you will pay less than you would for US Treasury bonds that have the full backing of the US government. Since the risk of default is dependent on economic conditions, bond prices fluctuate with the economy.

The lack of media coverage has kept the investing public largely unaware that there are other investments than stocks, let alone how bonds work. Ask your average person on the street and they can tell you what a stock is - it's ownership in a company. Few people would be able to answer the same for bonds. The result is what finance people call "segmentation."

Corporate bond prices, however, could provide a more complete picture of a company's prospects. Unlike stock investors, who tend to jump on and off a company's bandwagon quickly, bond investors have a more long-term approach. And that makes bond trading data a sound tool for assessing a stock investment.

"The presumption is the bond market is smarter than the stock market," said Ken Tower, chief market strategist for Schwab's CyberTrader. "I'm not saying it's always true, but there's a reason that the bond market tends to lead the stock market."

The article mentions that the bond market seems to be smarter than the stock market. Probably true, given that most people, and likely a good chunk of stock market investors, don't seem to have a clue about bonds.

Sprint has a new commercial on tv that I think is great. In it there is some corporate executive sitting at his office when his assistant walks in. The dialogue is something like

Executive: I like Sprint's new fair and flexible plan. It offers me flexibility .... It's my way of sticking it to the man!

Assistant: But sir, you are the man.

Executive: Yes.

Assistant: So you're sticking it to yourself?

Executive: Maybe.

It's quite amusing how media, entertainment, and marketing have thoroughly embraced the counterculture and anti-establishment message of decades past and now use it to promote establishment products and services. We can "stick it to the man" by using Sprint cellular service. It's incredibly silly, but at the same time, pretty funny.

So, the big Mistry got me playing this computer game he's liked since 'back in the day' (which in Shek-ese, usually refers to high school). It's called LORD (short for Legend Of the Red Dragon) and is a high tech game (you telnet in) with a sophisticated user interface (text). It is a multiplayer game, in which about 100 or so dorks...er, i mean users, create a character and go about these quests in an attempt to level up and defeat the legendary Red Dragon. These quests basically fill 2 testosterone-soaked categories - killing stuff and having sex. You get some points (and fake money - which you use to buy bigger weapons) for killing 'forest creatures' (computer bots), and even more for killing other players (virtually, that is - if you kill them in real life, you'll probably go to jail). You also get points for having sex - either by convincing another player to sleep with you (again, if you attempt this in real life, you will get STDs and babies instead of points) or winning a guessing game where you get to rescue a hot prince (or princess). Eventually you have enough points to kill the dragon and once you do that 5 times you win! Now, because advancing in the game pretty much requires you to kill other players, at any given time about 95% of the players are 'dead' (don't worry too much about the LORD mortality rate - everybody gets to regenerate once a day). Anyway, this got me thinking - what sort of computer games would reflect real life better, but still appeal to the raging hormones of your online gamer?

LATS - the Legend of Andro-Testosterone Supplements: In this game, players gain experience (AKA Bulk) by going to the gym and doing reps. Bonus points are randomly awarded by finding steroids, creatinine, or other fitness supplements. You level up by beating up various other dudes from 'pipsqueak man' to 'Arnold'. You can lose a level if you are caught by a random urine test.

PALM - Privately Always Looking for a Masturbatorium: In this game, you take on the role of a horny teenage boy in high school. Your challenge is to sneak out of class and find somewhere private to 'take care of business'. There is a constantly ticking hornometer - if you haven't escaped before time runs out, you lose points from the ensuing embarassing occurance. You also lose points if you get caught in the act (ie. janitor needs something from the closet, principle comes back to his office). You gain points by find discovering 'naughty magazines' or running into skanky classmates. You win the game when you finally get a date.

NERD - Not Enough Roleplaying, Dammit!: This is a meta-roleplaying game, where you join an online community of gamers. You get points based on the number of online role playing games you play and how well you're doing in each game. Bonus points are awarded by finding virtual cans of Jolt and packages of Hot Pockets. You win the game when you finally get a date.

Why do women find bald men unnattractive? Now before all you baldies get up in arms, let me tell you that some of the most wonderful, loving and worthy men I know are bald - like my father, both of my grandfathers, all my uncles, heck pretty much every male in my family over 30. (I am not immune to this either, all you have to do is give me some steroids- with the activating power of androgens, my Xtreme bald genes will kick right in)

Yet, like most of my peers, I prefer men to have a manly full rugged head of hair. Of course, male-pattern baldness is sort of paradox - it's caused by an excess of dihydrotestosterone (DHT), a sort of extra-powerful super-charged manly form of testorsterone. It's the Arnold Schwarzenagger of hormones. Men with the correct genetic predisposition, upon reaching puberty, will start churning out DHT and setting off a ticking time bomb which eventually leave their crowns naked and bare like a baby's bum. Of course you have to realize, that all this testosterone must affect other parts of their bodies too....leading me to wonder why, evolutionarilly, women don't prefer bald men, as they should have increased 'virility'.

Of course facial hair is a sign of virility too, but most ladies don't find facial hair on men to be attractive, either. But the difference there is it's much easier to fantasize a hairy guy without the beard than a bald guy with hair.

So what hope exists for the bald guys? Propecia - a lot of guys will say they don't want to try it since it lowers sex drive (by blocking that manly DHT). But hey, first you need to have somebody to enjoy that sex drive with :p And there's always a wig, but unless it's a good one we can usually tell. Don't even try the baseball cap, we always assume there's a bald spot under there. One friend told me that the only thing that hurts him is noticing that once he went bald, women stopped checking him out. They do however check him out when he wears a bandana on his head. Yet as we get older, we'll start to notice the bald guys more and more. I see lots of good looking older ladies check out my bald dad all the time. I think when I get older, I'll probably check out bald guys too (but not my dad, that would be gross).

Bald guys, don't be too disenheartened. Personality always trumps hairdo, or lack of one. And in the meantime, let this lovely 'poem' by my friend Qijia Ouyang cheer you up:
bald guys are cool
u can shine their head
and it'll light up the road
at night

Thank you...

Last night I was watching a movie with my parents - it was a Korean film called 'Oldboy' and in addition to many other discomfort-inducing scenes, it featured a lengthy, boisterous, vocal sex scene. Now I'm sure most of you have experienced the discomfort of watching a sex scene with your parents. Me, I can't do it. I squirm. I focus on an object across the room. I can't look at the TV.

You are all in for a treat today! You are about to become privy to the naughtiest jokes I ever heard . . . in elementary school.

1. You have to answer each of the following questions 'pea soup'

   • What did you have for breakfast?
   • What did you have for lunch?
   • What did you have for dinner?
   • What did you do all night?

   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was HILARIOUS. See, pea soup sounds like pee soup and that's potty talk! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2. Are you PT?

   The 'cool' kids asked me this in kindergarten. PT sounded bad, so I said 'no'. Then they all laughted at me because apparantly PT meant potty-trained. Oops. Then, another day, some other 'cool' kids asked me if I was PT. This time I was smarter and said 'yes'. They all laughed at me again, because now PT meant 'pregnant teacher'. In retrospect, I'm not sure what was so insulting about being called a pregnant teacher, but it managed to make me cry anyway.

3. Once there was this little girl and she was in her room and her mom called her to dinner. The girl said, 'just a sec!' The mom waited a couple minutes and then called her again, and again she said 'just a sec!'. The mom was now getting inpatient, because dinner was getting cold so when she called her daughter the third time and the daughter said 'Just a sec!' the mother said 'NO MORE SECS!!!!'

   This one was funny because secs sounded like SEX, which was a 'dirty dirty word' in elementary school. Nobody said sex unless they were whispering and giggling. We even giggled when we saw the word 'sex' in reference to gender. That's how funny 'sex' is.

4. There once was this lady who bought a mansion. She knew that lots of fancy houses had fancy names (like Worthington Manor etc.) and she wanted her house to have a fancy name too. But she didn't know what to name it! She eventually decided to name the house after her favorite soap opera star, Harry But. Eventually, she had a baby. Of course she couldn't figure out what to name the baby, so she went to the store and saw a crack on the wall, and decided to name the baby crack. One day, Crack crawled out of his playpen, and his mother didn't know where he went. Terrified, she ran to the police station screaming "Officer you HAVE to help me! I've searched my Harry But and I couldn't find my Crack!"

   Get it? Get it? OK, you just have to suspend disbelief and accept the fact that this lady was too stupid to name her own kid, that she really thought the police would know that her mansion was named Harry But, and that..oh forget it. It was really hilarious in 4th grade.

5. This old lady was taking a shower when she glanced out the bathroom window to see her pet poodle, Frisho, running down the street. Terrified she jumped out of the shower and ran out of the house, dripping wet and naked shouting 'Frisho! Frisho! Has anybody seen my Frisho??'

   Get it? Frisho sounds like 'free show'. And she was NAKED. HAHAHAHAHA

6. The Pen Fifteen Club

   Once, the 'cool' kids asked me if I wanted to be in the Pen Fifteen club. I was a dork with no friends, and I felt really special because I thought I was finally going to join a club! I said, "Really? Sure, I'd love to!" So the cool girl smiled and proceeded to write PEN15 on my hand in big letters. In permanent marker. This was in middle school. We never did end up having a club meeting either :(
   

Anybody else got some good dirty jokes from their elementary school days? Post 'em in the comments sex-ion- HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!11!!1

Yesterday, it snowed in New York City for the first time this winter. Overnight, we are expected to get 3-6 inches. I am not thrilled.

Growing up I loved the snow. A day off of school, tackle football (it didn't hurt to get tackled), and snowball fights were just a few of the highlights. I still love snow, but not in New York City.

In the city, the snow just makes a mess. It gets dirty (and with the dogs often yellow) very quickly, making a slushy salty liquid that gets all over your shoes. When it finally all melts, it creates huge puddles of muddy water that floods and drains slowly.

Not having fun with snow is just a price you pay for living in a big city.

Haha...I just saw an ad for Match.com that brags how they are featuring Dr. Phil's relationship advice along with their service. That's great considering that Dr. Phil's son is marrying a Playboy playmate. I guess old Dr. Phil is now peddling his pornstar-getting smarts to the public for a fee. So sign up for match.com and you too can have your very own collagen-enhanced lover. YAY!

Tracy sent me a link to this hilarious website that gives instruction on how to turn your junk mail into some fun. Check it out.

The 2006 soccer world cup (no, not football) has been over for a while now. It was possibly the lamest world cup I've seen. Far too many games were decided in penalty kicks, including the final. The winning team almost didn't make it to the final round. And of course, there's the Zidane incident.

The United States usually isn't considered a top contender, but we sucked unusually terribly this time. Our team played a game of youth soccer. The defense/goalkeeper would get the ball, kick it really far, and our men would run and chase after it. That is not soccer. In soccer you run the ball up the sidelines and make clean passes.

The results were horrendous. In the pooled round, we scored only one goal by ourselves. The only reason we tied Italy was a goal they scored on themselves. With such a lousy team, why bother watching.

I have now worked for 6 weeks in New York. I can tell you that most New Yorkers are actually polite people when you are dealing with them in the hospital. However, if you are riding your bike to the hospital, it is a totally different story. Yesterday I was hit by a car (at low speed) and the buckfutter didn't even stop to see if I was ok, despite the fact that my bicycle hit it so hard, there was a slight dent and I was left behind holding my foot in pain (i wasn't injured and neither was the bike thank god). Other times, I have been cussed at, whacked with a purse, and had crude things muttered at me by dirty people that smell like urine and sit on the street.

Actually, much of New York smells like urine. It's the first thing I smell as I step outside the lobby of the building I'm staying in. If you take any public elevator, you can always catch a whiff (of course that's true in many cities). Streets and subway stations all over town have the common smell of urine. And sometimes feces.

Of course the garbage smell predominates. Probably has to do with the Everests of trash bags that fill the streets at least twice a week. Even after the garbage truck takes them away, you are left with a strange putrid chunky liquid that remains on the side walk adn that you inadvertantly step in. Of course, then the hose brigades come out, and sit there spraying the sidewalk to get rid of the sludge and in the process end up splashing it up on to your pants (some of the nicer hose guys shut off the hose when you walk by to avoid this, but most of them just aim the water elsewhere, which still sends up enough toxic splash onto your clothes).

Also - pedicabs? What's the point? They are slow and probably charge more than a taxi to get you there in more time. At least the horse carriages are romantic (if smelly). Pedicabs are just annoying and they always block the road in front of them when traffic is heavy and I'm trying to squeeze by on my bike. Do pedicabs really make a decent profit? The only advantages i can think of is environmental friendliness, and the drivers develop nice glutes. OK that's enough ranting for today.